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I'm Not Really Here: A Life of Two Halves, by Paul Lake
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Paul Lake was Manchester born, a City fan from birth. His footballing talent was spotted at a young age and, in 1983, he signed coveted schoolboy forms for City. Only a short time later he was handed the team captaincy. An international career soon beckoned and, after turning out for the England under-21 and B teams, he received a call-up to the England training camp for Italia '90. Despite missing out on a place in the final squad, he suitably impressed the management, with Bobby Robson earmarking him as an England captain in the making. As a rising star Paul became a target for top clubs like Manchester United, Arsenal, Spurs and Liverpool, but he always stayed loyal to his beloved club, deeming Maine Road the spiritual home at which his destiny lay.
But then, In September 1990, disaster struck. Paul ruptured his cruciate ligament and sustained the worst possible injury that a footballer can suffer. And so began his nightmare. Neglected, ignored and misunderstood by his club after a succession of failed operations, Paul's career began to fall apart. Watching from the side-lines as similarly injured players regained their fitness; he spiralled into a prolonged bout of severe depression. With an enforced retirement from the game he adored, the death of his father, and the collapse of his marriage, Paul was left a broken man.
Set against a turning point in English football, I'm Not Really Here is the powerful story of love and loss and the cruel, irreparable damage of injury; of determination, spirit and resilience, and of unfulfilled potential and broken dreams.
- Sales Rank: #185121 in Audible
- Published on: 2012-08-02
- Format: Unabridged
- Original language: English
- Running time: 629 minutes
Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Life changing
By _rued_boy
Being born in 89 meant that my time as a City fan never blessed me with a chance to watch Paul Lake, other than highlights and old match tapes (5-1 over United at Maine Road for example.) However I knew enough about him to scrape up a few quid for this book and that may have been the best decision of my life. Lake captures the feeling in every City fans heart when he talks about the Blues. But when the tone turns to his depression I thought I was reading my own diary. Lake's story is one full of hope when it appears there is none. The adversity he faces, especially the things he can't overcome, and the way he fights on was motivational and inspiring. He never gives up and because of this neither will I. This is a great book for anyone, not just City fans or football fans. If you want an inspiring book written from the heart than you should buy this book no matter what your interests are.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Heartfelt, heartbreaking and heartwarming - all in one
By tarps21
I have to say that this is without doubt the best 'sports' book I have ever read. It's written from the POV of a footballer in England who literally has the world at his feet, but suffered through injury and ultimately medical inefficiency.
It delves not only into the working of a football team in the 80s/90s, but also into the descent into depression of a once proud sportsman at the top of his game to basically a show pony for his employers.
It's a beautiful story (I admit I cried....) and one that you should read, even if you hate football or sports in general.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
For any fan of sport
By Debbie Spillane
I'm a Premier League fan, but don't follow Manchester City and, I'll admit, I'd never heard of Paul Lake. But I was so moved by this book. As a sports journalist I now look back on all the times I've reported on a player rupturing a cruciate liigament, or spending long periods sideliined with injury, in a different light.
Paul Lake writes honestly and in a heart rending fashion about how one injury, poorly treated, completely derailed his life. He reveals the emotions, the depression and the life re-evaluation that a sporting injury can cause.
Talented but injured sports stars are so often "out of sight, out of mind", or, as Paul puts it himself: "Not Really Here."
You won't think the same way about professional sport and injuries again. "Knee reconstruction" "rehab" and "ruptured cruciate ligaments" are ridiculously easy to talk about. As long as they're not yours.
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